Sunday, 17 September 2017

Like a Pirate. Arrr!


Note from the Editor in Chief:- 
Dear readers. As Tuesday is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, this week Erin brings you a special two part story of Daring Do, and Love on the high seas! Please tune in (or off) on Tuesday for the thrilling conclusion of this story... Till then, we hope you'll enjoy......

Part 1:   Like a Pirate. Arrr!


© ERIN THE CAT PRINCESS. NOT FOR REPRODUCTION IN ANY FORMThere is nothing quite like a nice peaceable nap in ones own bed, or beds as I do have rather a lot to choose from, to make a girl feel or cosy and safe.

Not that I have anything to worry about as the moat keeps the most ardent of meter readers at bay and there haven't been marauders or pirates in these parts for many a year. Though they do still tell tale tales of times gone by and tall ships sailing up the loch in the dead of night in search of buried gold and a safe harbour, a warm cot and bowl of cream.

Of course the most important thing for a good nap is to have had a sufficient an evening meal beforehand. I can truly say that it is NOT good practice to undertake exercise before napping if you want to wake up refreshed and ready to take on whatever the day as in store.

Some time later.........





Arrrr, well shiver me timbers another day dawns aboard the Good Ship ERinee. I really do need to see the ships carpenter and get that draughty window fixed!

Anyways, here we are, set sail on our 5 year mission to pillage and plunder our way across the seas from Boston to the Carib and back to dear old Blighty in search of fantastical treasures, all to take home to our ruler the good and benevolent Queen Nellie.

Yup, when it comes to having a nose for finest golden cream nuggets, I'm your girl!

And of course there is always that new fangled leaf they distil into the heavenly brew called Niptinium™ and them ships carrying fresh supplies of the green leaf from the New World are a great prize for a pirate in need of a good time. And all thanks to that jolly good egg Capt'n Jack Sparro-weater who discovered Nip being transported by the evil Queen of Spain.

Hmm.... all seems far too quiet around this 'ere ship. I expected to hear naives swabbing the decks and heave-ho'n around. I mean that is what they usually do after one of the ships cooks Friday night special Brussels sprout curries!

Safest place to be after one of those babies, is the crows nest with a supply of clothes pegs. Arrrr!

I wonder where everyone can be? It's not a Bank Holiday as we did one of those last week in Jamaica, five banks in fact and a pretty good haul of cream it was too. Arrr!

*****Squeaking sounds from outside the cabin door....*****

Strange, I thought I heard mice. There are NO mice on the Good Ship ERin not on my watch... well actually I do have Micky and Minnie on my watch but that's a gift from a distant admirer in a the New World, the Dashing Count Prince Von Valentino of O-R-E Gone, though where it actually has gone he doesn't ever say.

Oh if only I were good enough for the sweet Count.... Still once I've made my fortune and been given a knighthood I shall be able to put myself forwards in polite society and hold my head up high, whiskers out, and look forwards to my name being synonymous with all things good. Maybe one day once they invent computers I could have a blog named after me! OK so maybe I need to stop eating cheese before the suns dipped under the yardarm, but a gal can dream....

Best check whats up with the crew. If them scurvy cats have been at the silvervine grog it will be the dog-o-nine-tails for them!

"Right you scurvy......... Er...... Mice? Umm, excuse me but this is MY ship and I don't seem to recall saying that mice were allowed on board!" I said to the mouse who, hands on hips and standing on his hind legs, stood before.

"Squeak. It's CAPTAIN to you, cat. I'm Captain El Mignon Mouse-morsels, pride of the Spanish Pirate fleet, the scourge of the seas and larders throughout the known kingdom, and this 'ere is a hi-jacking. Arrr." Said the decidedly plump pirate mouse, no bigger than, well, a mouse really.  "Give us all your cheese and cream or the crew gets it!"

"Hang on a moment," I said, "I don't think you are in a position to threaten ME! I mean I'm the Cat'ptain of this here boat and what I says goes. ARRRRR! AND if you'd not quite noticed, I am rather a tad bigger than yourself and...."

"Yeoooow!  Ouch! Cripes that hurt... What the.... OUCH! Mind what you're doing with those spikes will you, you could do a cat a mischief with that!" I turned around and was confronted with a band of three mice brandishing tiny cutlasses, and sporting very ill fitting boots and waistcoats.

"Well will you look at that, if it ain't the Three Mouskateers gone rogue. And whats with all the cocktail sticks?" Peering down what I first took to be cutlasses were intact cocktail sticks with neatly chewed pineapple lumps as the blade's guard.

"Avast you lily livered son of a Long Tom," the pirate mouse captain all but screamed at me, "shift ye fat caboose over this here plank else I'll set me crew on ye. They've not had the taste of a cat for nigh on a month and their taste buds are twitching more than a fiddlers fingers on cat gut fiddle. And by the looks of it there will be plenty of gut to go around today if you don't divvy up your loot...Arrr"

"What with cocktail sticks? I don't think so," I scoffed.

"Cast nastercians on a pirates sword, would ye! Well get this into that feather filled brain of yours, we mean to have ye cargo,"  the mouse squeaked. "We have you by the short and curly whiskers and there's nothing you can do but surrender your cheese to us and save a short walk and a long drop to Davey Jones' locker!"

"Hmm. What if I refuse? I mean I'm a cat and I can't really see why I should do anything for you, you're only three inches high and that's including the block heels on those boots, which is sooo last years fashion. But if you wait another one hundred they'll be back in again, for sure!" I gave the mouse one of my best fashionista stares whilst I stroked the goatee I'd been cultivating.

"Will ye quit petting that confounded beast," the mouse said, "do ye not know goats are a curse on a ship, will bring the 'black spot of death' down on yer quicker than you can say St Elmo's..... er.... something or other?!

"Black spot you say, well that is excellent news!" I said. "There was me thinking it was something bad and we'd got mildew in the rigging and was about to send the sails out for dry cleaning. Think of the money I've saved! Now look little pirate mouse guy, nice though this chat is, what I really want is..... "

But before I could finish the mouse rounded on me, and with a clearly reddening face and puffed out chest, shouted....

"SILENCE, you scurvy sea mammal, if you don't comply I'll introduce your furry Everton Mint coloured hide to 'Frank the Freakin' Huge', he's from a yet to be discovered continent called OZ." With that the mouses all around me started to wave their cocktail sticks and shouted "Freakin' Frank, Freakin' Frank" in ever increasing shrill and animated fashion.

Then suddenly it stopped and the mice all ran behind the captain. Turning to see what was behind me and the reason for the mice's fear, I was confronted with the most gigantic mouse ye ever laid your eyes on. Arrr!

We eyed each other up and down. Mentally I checked off all a mouses attributes to see if this guy was really a mouse. Long tail? yup. Shortish front legs and longer back? yup. Long pointy nose and irritating chewing habit? yup. Long hopping stride and weird accent? Not sure, but anythings possible after some of that cheap Niptini™!
© ERIN THE CAT PRINCESS. NOT FOR REPRODUCTION IN ANY FORM

"Arrr, G'day sport." Freakin' Frank said. "Give 'em the cheese or your crew gets to swim with the fishes, OK! Oh if ye have any tinnys of grog, mines Ye Fosters!"

Well you could have knocked me over with a nip mouse. How often do you find a talking elephant with boxing gloves on your ship?

"Umm, G'day Frank," I offered my paw out to the beast, "hows about we parlez over this, pirate to er elephant? I mean I can be quite reasonable and don't want to hurt anyone. And I do want to see my crew again. By the way where are the mangy swabs?"

Turning back to look at the dastardly Captain Mignon, I realised that I'd unwittingly edged away from Frank towards the ships railings, and a plank that extended over the side and out to sea. And I could now see hanging from one of the ships boons a net, and it was within that the ships crew now found themselves resting, in true feline fashion, having an afternoon siesta.

A lazy breeze gently moved the boat to and fro and as it did the net lowered towards the water dampening the sleeping cats tails before lifting back up again. Well if that swell gets up much more, I mused, I won't have to have the crew scrubbed down for their annual wash and flea treatment! I wonder if I could get them to wash the sails too whilst they're down there?

Edging my way backwards from the railings I turned and was halted by a firm jab to the nose from Freakin' Frank.

"Meoooooowch, that smarted! What was that for!" I managed in a nasal tone through a now throbbing nose. "I think you broke my whiskers! And I'd just had them done in Gibraltar too. If you ever want things flattened, Straights of Gibraltar is the shop to go. Arrr"

"Strewth mate, you could talk the hind legs off a dingo! Now look, sport," Frank said in an annoying accent. "these 'ere rodents bushwhacked me back in my home town of Purrth and have been holding my Joey captive out by the billabongs, and I can tell you mate, that ain't a pretty site!"

"If I don't do their bidding he's a goner. So be a good pom and hand over the cheese and cream and we'll be on our way to the Queen of Spains cocktail pawty. Oh and for your information I'm NOT an elephant, I'm a bleeding Kanga-roo, mate!"

Despite a solid punch, I couldn't help feel for Frank's Joey being held by the billabong. I mean all the flies and risk of crocs would be terrible for the complexion! So I was determined to get this poor overgrown boxing mouse out and home, and maybe squeeze some of profit on the side.

"Do you mean, I've been attacked by badly dressed mouse pirates and a Cocker-poo in search of cheese for their cocktail sticks? REALLY!"

I gasped realising I'd never live down the embarrassment of it all at Queen Nellies court, if word got out I'd lost the ships cargo of Premium Nova Scotia Canadian mature Cheddar. But not just any premium cheddar, no ma'am, this was from Premier Seville's private stocks no less. I'd be lucky to get of London and make it to the Isle of Man with my tail still intact. MOUSES!

Frank gave me another jab to the nose "It's Kangaroo NOT Cockerpoo, you dimwit!" And turned to bounce off in a sulk, but in doings so his large tail walloped me in the chest and sent me tumbling down the plank and out to sea with a less than lady like "Plooosh" sound.

"Ooops! Sorry mate," Frank cried, "should have warned you to give the tail a wide berth. Still, on a hot day like to day you can catch some rays maybe, of the fishy kind that is!"

"Erm excuse me, cat overboard! I have rights you know. You can't leave me here on my own! What about the Pirate Code?!" I managed to gargle as I did a the cat paddle to stay afloat.

© ERIN THE CAT PRINCESS. NOT FOR REPRODUCTION IN ANY FORMArrr, squeaked Captain Le Mignon, you have I fine point there, Cat'ptain Erin, but they're more guide lines really, and so here's my guideline; if you swims straight for another mile or so you'll reach that there ship on the horizon that's bearing down on us as we speak. If you save your breath I think a cat like you can manage it. And if you don't manage it, you'll.....

"Be a very soggy moggy?" I interjected before he could finish his quote. "Or maybe ready for a nice cheese sandwich?"

"Sharks fin! Incoming!" Shouted one of the mouse crew as it pointed its cocktail stick my way.



To be continued on Tuesday 19th, International Talk Like a Pirates day. Arrrr!!!!



   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


And now for a Sunday Selfie.......

© ERIN THE CAT PRINCESS. NOT FOR REPRODUCTION IN ANY FORM
© ERIN THE CAT PRINCESS. NOT FOR REPRODUCTION IN ANY FORM





........If I frown, or look sad, it's not because the sun puddles are getting smaller, but because I worry so about the problems we all face, and the friends that we have lost. 


I dedicate this post to the memory of Bill, beloved soulmate and cat dad, who passed this week. Our thoughts and prayers are with Sharon and Allie and Raz, sending love and purrs from across the sea.....

                                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





46 comments:

  1. Erin, you're looking very regal in your selfie today. We love your pirate tale! We can't wait for part two. (And thanks for the reminder about Talk Like A Pirate Day!)

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    1. Hi Lola. Thank you, I had hoped for that look, an informal state visit sort of chaise lounge feel to it.
      Hope to see you on Tuesday for the conclusion.
      Toodle pip and Arrrr's!
      ERin

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  2. WE love your selfie Princess, you look beautious! Watch those pirates Princess, they're not to be trusted. We sure were sad about Daddy Bill.

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    1. Hmm, I think you're right, theres been nothing but drunken and unruly behaviour since I started this cruise. Last time I book an exclusive fishing holiday for one! MOL
      Toodle pip and Arrr!
      ERin

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  3. Erin,
    I live you in that pirate hat and I love your selfie. Watch out fir that shark fin.
    Zoe and Raja from PlayingInCatnip.com

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    1. Avast there matey.... Oh not another one! I really have had enough of that soup this week. Maybe next time they can order lobster, or shrimp? but definitely something with thinner skin. MOL
      Toodle pip and Arrr!
      ERin

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  4. I love that you're already dressed for being a pirate ... with TWO eye patches. Never trust a mouse further than you can throw him ... you seem to have continuing problems with these heathens. In socks and ships ... perhaps your Kraken will be of assistance this time?! Granted, mice would just be an appetizer to a Kraken ... or maybe dessert if she's still watching her figure?!

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    1. Well this is a Pirate adventure after all. MOL still from this adventure i'm off to be a highwaylady and the double mask will be most useful.
      Hmm, the Kraken tends to use mice to floss with rather than eat. Now sharks are quite another thing and they are her sort of spicy food... they have the bite she likes MOL
      Toodle pip and Arrrr!
      ERin

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  5. You make a terrific pirate, Erin ! Can't wait to read your next adventure ! Lovely selfie ! Purrs

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    1. Thank you, I hope I added some much needed Tuxedo Princess to the role.... I mean Keira Knightley was good but she lacked the true Black and white of the character MOL
      Toodle-oo and purrs
      ERin

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  6. Mee-you you make a luvley Pie-rat ERin Purrincess! An yur ship iss purrty kewl all so. An thee shark better get outta YUR way!!
    An yur selife iss sweet; purrty inn pink. Wee are sad here about Mistur Bill all so. Hee will bee missed.....
    ***nose rubsss*** an *paw patsss* Siddhartha Henry xXx

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    1. Prince Siddhartha Henry you are such a gentlecat, and made a fine and noble Cat'ptain, NAY, Admiral of the fleet.
      You know, I do you think the Jolly Roger would look way more jolly in pink! MOL
      Sweet and gentle loving purrs for Bill and family, and all those that have passed...
      Erin

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  7. My private stocks of cheddar have been lost? MOUSES!

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    1. Hi Seville, fear not as it was in ages past when a forebear was Premier of Canada. Assuming you've not seen any pirates of late I think your current stash will be OK.... Arrr
      Toodle-oo and purrs
      ERIn

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  8. Be careful out on the high seas, Erin! And your selfie is just purrfect :)

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    1. Hi guys, yes I will for sure. I mean I have to finish part 2 so I can't have an accident.... I hope, hang on I'll just check the script...
      Toodle pip and purrs
      ERin

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  9. I love your selfie and your pirate story. What was in that cream ? It sure got your imagination going :)XO

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    1. Hi all. Well that sharks fin soup did have a bite to it.... do you think someone spiked it???
      Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of my ancestors tale
      Purrs
      ERin

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  10. Love your selfie!

    Thanks for reminding us about Pirate Day, We always forget!

    Purr xx
    Athena and Marie

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    1. Hello to you both. Thank you, I tries to please with the selfies though sometimes it is a frowning day so it comes as the timer finds it.
      Purrs till tomorrow
      ERin

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  11. Hmmm Captain Erin do you want me to rescue you with my ship the SS Speedy and see if we can save the joey and route the mice?xx Captain Speedy

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    1. AHOY shipmate Speedy! I thinks if Part two of the adventure doesn't come off I could well do with a speedy SPEEDY rescue!!!
      See you soon, I hope....
      Purrs and Arrrs

      ERin

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  12. ERin; yur ship be a fine one; pleez stay outta de CROWZ nest tho; yur storee iz awesum; we iz givin it 984 pawz UP.... N lookin for werd ta two morrowz tale.....pee ezz...yur selfeez gorgeouz N shark iz grate grilled with barbie Q sauce ;) ♥♥☺☺ N pee ezz ezz....cranbereez if de crate oh nipz gotta go afturr de ewe noe what sat on it

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    1. Avast ye shipmate! Yup that there pesky scurvy gull has been moved post haste and requested to stay on the rigging' in future. Now that shark on grill with barbie q sauce sounds awesome, I'll just jump in and wrangle me another. Arrr!
      ERin

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  13. Blimey, matey! This is a fine tail you be tellin'...and we shall return for part 2. Arrrrrgh!

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    1. Aye shipmate, that it be! Hopes you'll get a fair wind and blow back this way very soon for the concluding episode. Arrr!
      Cat'ptain ERin

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  14. Oh me cats!!! Don't worry gawjus Erin, we'll help ya'. As fur bein' "good 'nuff", you're purrlenty good 'nuff fur any mancat. Actually, you fur surpass many. Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. Aww, thank ye shipmates Raena and Dezi, and welcome aboard. I knew I could count on you to be with me. Arrr!
      See you both tomorrow, for more Hi-seas jinks and romance.
      Cat'ptain ERin

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  15. Oh me cats!!! Don't worry gawjus Erin, we'll help ya'. As fur bein' "good 'nuff", you're purrlenty good 'nuff fur any mancat. Actually, you fur surpass many. Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. Every cat has an equal chance on my ship. Arrr
      Purrs
      Cat'ptain ERin

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  16. Oh my Cat what a terrible adventure. Catnapped er... mousenapped!?!? Erm What now Erin!!!!!! We must see....

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    1. Very glad you enjoyed this page of the adventure... wait tile the next one! Arrr!
      ERin

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  17. Ahoy Cap'n Erin! ...watch out fer that shark..Arrr...on my way to the next episode... Fast Pawkisses...
    Purrfect Selfie btw :)

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    1. Ahoy Cat'ptain Binky and Granny!!! No worries the shark was well cooked MOL
      Fast forward now to the thrilling final episode...
      Pawkisses and headbumps
      ERin

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  18. Oh my! You've been taken over by mice of varying sizes, and now sharks too ... we knew being a pirate was dangerous, but this exceeds expectations! :)

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    1. Ahoy shipmate Roby o' the Sweet! Aye that the evil mouse el Mignon had me but fear not, I have a plan! Tune in to the finale and see what ye may see... Arrr!
      Cat'ptain ERin

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  19. Erin, you make a pawesome pirate! I think you should write a book, oh yes you should!! catchatwithcarenandcody

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    1. Thank you, my dream seemed very real, and I do still have some sand and salty bits to tidy off myself, so maybe it was?!
      Purrs
      ERin

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  20. Dear one, so sorry about the passing of your friend, Bill. Purrs & hugs.

    (message by carrier pigeon). "Captain Erin, I have sent ships to take down that El Mignon Mouse & his shifty lot. My ships also bring milk reserves & Emerald nip for you & your crew. I've heard stories about you & the famed Good Ship ERinee. I love a lady who is strong & fearless. We must meet in purr-son. Please come to the New World soon my fair beauty & drink in our pure waters & stay with me deep in the forest in my private estate." -Prince Von Valentino (& Mom) of Noir Kitty Mews

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    1. Oh my, thank you, your message is most welcome news in deed. That scoundrel El Mignon will now surely get his just dessert, and so long as it's not my dessert cream and nip pudding then I'll be a very happy Princess.
      Oh and such generous supplies too, for the crew and I. What can I say but you spoil me so and show generosity beyond what I deserve. Fly me in your fastest ship to your Oregon, do, with pure waters and a woodland realm I can be forever at ease, with you at my side, and chase mice and squirrels and rabbits and watch the sun rise and it fall in harmony with nature.
      Sweetest gentle and loving purrs
      ERin

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  21. Sorry this reply reaches you late fair one, you see, I have been contemplating, too... Are you quite sure yours was a dream? For if it was a dream, then it was a dream we both shared. If it is real than real is beauty & beauty is you. I will salute you as one respecting Captain to another, but will always bow to you, my Princess, who I adore. (presenting a red rose) -Valentine/Von Valentino (& Mom) of Noir Kitty Mews

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    1. It felt so real, and yet seemed a dream...., I do not know which, but in truth I would have either as each has you. Such maybe is our fate, a life entwined through centuries and past lives, a fate that draws us together but keeps us apart by distance and oceans.
      Oh Valentino, my Valentine, Sweet Cat'ptain, I accept this rose from thy gracious paw, and curtsey to thy gentle nobility in thanks of the honour it bestows. It's sweet delicate fragrance I shall hold in my waking and sleeping mind till next we meet. Who knows what adventures will befall us on the seas or on land, but together we can conquer all. Love conquers all...
      I salute you, most fine and noble Valentine
      Pawkisses and purrs
      ERin

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  22. You must make such an awesome pirate Erin 'cuz you have that moat thingy, right?

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    1. Yes it does help and I can practice my swashing and buckling MOL
      The Kraken doesn't like to be disturbed too often so I can't use the canon as much as I would like.... unless of course it to ward off invasion and the tax men. MOL
      Toodle pip and purrs
      ERin

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  23. Well that's quite a tail...er...tale their Erin. I'll be interested to see how it all turns out.

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    1. Oooh I think and hope you'll be quite impressed with the outcome! Tune in to the next blog up and enjoy...
      Toodle pip and purrs
      ERin

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