He walked into our lifeAnd he took it over
But yes he's beautiful
Yes he's beautiful
I've been with better looking toms
He's been with prettier princesses
But friendships beautiful
Yes it's beautiful
I don't need love affairs any more
I can't have love affairs any more
Cant you see, its stray cat chemistry
You really must agree loves beautiful
Yes so beautiful
I was the rain, he the sun
But now we've built an understanding
I think peace is beautiful
It's so beautiful
I don't need love affairs any more
I can't have love affairs any more
Cant you see, its stray cat chemistry
You really must agree, life's beautiful
Saving life's beautiful
And if the whole world fell in love
Just like that tom and us
It would be beautiful
Oh it would be beautiful
The world don't need love affairs any more
No it don't need love affairs any more
Oh why can't you see it's the chemistry
And together we are beautiful
We are beautiful
Can't you see, it's the feline chemistry
Together cats and peeps are meant to be
We are beautiful
Yes its beautiful
He came into our life and changed it forever
But now he's gone the tears flow
Where he is I do not know
But life and love he leaves behind
And that is beautiful
Oh so beautiful......."
Come on peep, snap out of it!
You have to accept it. He couldn't hang around. It is the way of life, and tom cats, especially tom cats who still have their, you know, those dangly bits, the pompoms as it were that get them such a bad rep on the streets.
To have uncontrollable urges is terrible, a bit like me and mice or cream, though that isn't an addiction, and I don't leave a trail of pregnant moms in my wake, OK maybe a few body parts, but that is just life, and you can't take the mouse out the cat, now can you?
Hmm I can see that this isn't resonating with you. Well those urges are a bit like you and pizza, though in his case it lead to being thin and straying and fighting. Thankfully you only get fat, and don't go chasing other shoppers claws out down the clothes aisle for the best shoe offers!
Though I do think if you had a bit more vim and vigour you could shed a bit of that puppy fat..... a litter of twelve is it?
Now I know you thought he was cute fluffy and cuddly. And hungry and needy, and far from home and alone in his life. But you can't just go taking strays in willy nilly without having a plan and without telling me. I mean I do like to be involved in these things and not just wake up one afternoon and find I've been invaded.
This whole affair gave me quite a complex, and the anxiety attacks were horrendous. I swear I've put on half a pound in cream.... er.... weight these last couple of months through comfort eating the nip mice I found in the cupboard. Ok eating the nip AND the mice I found in the cupboard.
Oh yes its been longer than you think and I did try to tell you he was breaking in, but did you listen to me? NO!
Did you see the signs of his late night visits and daytime raids on my pantry? The scraps of food strewn across the floor. NO! I mean you can't have thought that was, surely. A princess doesn't do that to her food. Well only the stuff that comes with its own transport system.
ALL you saw is what you thought was yours truly having a bit of a tantrum throwing parties and stopping up late to watch TV. Well it may come as a surprise to you, peep, we DON'T have TV! What yours truly was doing was pulling in extra patrols and stopping up late watching cat flap TV.
Times are a changing. It used to be a Princess could leave her Palace flap open, but now seems like you just can't trust anyone. I suppose having an open door policy is just that, the good and the hungry!
Still, I can't be too hard on the lad. He was clean, and well spoken, when his mouth wasn't full that is.
And he did respect my distance and let me have my Palace in peace until I was out on patrol or out for the count.
I swear he must have seen my work schedule as we never bumped into each other. He would have made a perfect husband in the human sense, but most toms are like that. However he did have his uses, and kept the other local naives and young guns at bay, and there weren't any more late night parties to disturb the peace when he was about at two AM.
It was a bit like having a secret helper your own secret muscle cat, a freelance who you paid out of your own bowl, unwittingly.
And then of course you discovered him and realised he was in need. Well you thought he was in need I knew his needs were not what you thought or knew! Oh how naive you are ol' peep of mine. A tom is a tom is a tom, and they march to the beat of only one drum.... could be a tom-tom!
OK so that is a bad joke but it is the truth, and they do make the worst of parents, I should know.
He came in search of some comfort by way of food and a tickle and some more food, and clearly it was just fate that made him cross our path, and fate that made him eat us out of house and home.
I mean I don't mind, I didn't mind, but he didn't like anything that I liked so I did rather miss out on some of that extra special food you bought him.
And then there was the nip, and the cream.
Really? Really? I don't get that level of treatment and I own the place, and run it. Not that I am begrudging a lost soul the basics in life, but the premium nip from the Meowijuana™ stand at BlogPaws? Not even I've tried that stuff yet!
It did seem rather good, and judging by how much he guzzled straight from the pot, and sprinkled on his breakfast, post lunch snack, evening tea and then early morning pre-starter, I'd say it was the best nip ever!
In fact I'm really surprised he could walk in a straight line again, ever!
Come on now. Really what is all the fuss.... yes he was adorably cute and cuddly but he didn't belong here, and he had to go, permanently.
You did the right thing after all sending him on his way, sending him packing. Hard though it is to do, these things have to be done.
It's not cruel, to be kind. It's how the world works.
You were not turning your back on him either if that's what you think, nor would I ask you to do that. What you did was just an act of kindness to all concerned, and he won't bother anyone else ever again.
Doing nothing is sometimes the worst thing you can do, and whilst you may have enjoyed it, the company, the fact remained that a decision had to be taken.
I think putting any fellow creature in a cage is hard, and a betrayal of the trust that had built up between you, but these things had and have to be done.
I mean it's not as though anything bad was going to happen. And look how it turned out, peace and quiet and a good nights sleep for me.
So if you'd checked him with a chip scanner sooner, you'd have known he was living in temporary accommodation close by, and best of all, he has a home, and humans that love him, humans how now have him back again. So you see he wasn't really a stray, and never walked alone, well only at two AM and lets face it most decent peeps and most cats are in their beds at that time.
So there you have it, lessons to be learned, for sure, but a happy ending to a real life fairy tale romance.
Now look, ol' blubbery one, and by that I mean blubber of the tear kind and nothing to do with the blubber elsewhere, tears do not maketh the peep. Actions however do speak louder than sniffles, so get up and do something positive with this glorious morning.
The air is cool the sun is out and the birds are singing. What more could you ask, huh? OK so I'd be asking for a mouse to squeak, but we can't have everything in life. Though I dare say there's many a mouse that will be thankful for that.
First things first lets see if maybe we can help a real cat in need. A sister who has fallen on hard times, or whose peep has maybe not been able to care for their needs.
Next thing.... and some may say the order of the day, is get my breakfast!
A Princess has to eat you know. All this looking after tom cats and watching others scoff food at all hours of the day makes one pretty darn hungry.
What I want, I think, is a full English. Fried mouse with all the trimmings, including a cream sauce with a side of fresh Meowijuana™ nip, on everything.
I think maybe, for this coming month YOU, peep, can also take my night shifts too, after all I have some sleep to catch up on because of you.
Oh, and all those extra meals you managed to serve up for the stray, I think they can stay.
I really DO think they should...... don't you?
~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~
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Kitties Blue: XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, and Cooper Murphy, from The Cat on My Head blog
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